Yes I know.I’ve not posted in a long..long..time.
There were several reasons.First of them was “Phailin” which struck Orissa but Ranchi too had heavy thunderstorms and rains.All over the place around 200 trees and a number of electric poles fell.As a result there was no electricity for ten days.We were using generators just to keep our phones alive.
Second.. and most daunting reason for not attending to the blog was I was too low and depressed to write anything.Due to some circumstances which came up,it is possible that we will not be getting a house at all in the station or may have to accomodate in a smaller one.With the kids growing up and parents living close by,this was bad news for me.Munch has just joined school mid-term and I cannot go anywhere till the term end.But to live without a house for so long is getting me down…
And finally the third reason for being away and may be the only silver lining was that I have got a job again in Perk’s school which means I am back to doing what I like best and this opportunity gives me some time off from brooding over house issues.
Wish me luck so that next time I am here to share some more good news with you.
This morning,the school having closed down for Easter, I hired some help to clean up the garage (another job I keep postponing).The hubby’s bike and the car were taken out and while I was looking up and sorting out the things that really needed to be disposed and making a mental list,I noticed Munch cleaning Baba’s bike with a piece of cloth.She had a forlorn look on her face and her hand moved so lovingly over the parts of the bike,that I suddenly had an urge to hold her in my arms and cry.She was missing her father…its been sometime that he has been home.Her eyes had a sad look as if the bike made her remember the outings she had when baba was around.He spoils the children rotten whenever he comes home.”Baba we want to go to Big Bazaar” and baba is ready in a minute and no amount of pending homework can stop them.Whenever Munch’s eyes rest on a pair of shoes a minute longer than usual,baba picks it up oblivious that he bought her a pair just a week ago.Seven years and baba has made it a point,no matter what he is there to attend Munch’s birthday (to make up for his absence at the time of her birth).Perk doesn’t feel his absence that much since he left us when Perk was just 3 months old.One day,I was taken by surprise when while flipping through the pages of a magazine,Perk pointed to a male model and said “Mamma,look baba!”The model had exactly the same hairstyle that hubby has!At these moments,it is very hard to be brave and put up a smile and tell her “He looks like baba,darling but he is not baba.” But the little one insists it is baba and i give in.
Their father is their hero and will always be.May God give them the strength to understand that their father is different from others and for him his duty towards his country will always come first and one day they too will be proud of him and not be sad that their father cannot attend their birthdays or be their always when they perform on stage or receive their awards and accolades or play badminton with them in the evenings or take them out for a treat at Dominoz on weekends.We live our life when baba comes on leave and after he is gone we pray for his well- being and look forward to the next time he will be home.
I sing this song often to the girls when they go to bed.Its a lovely song and it goes out to you Baba.Miss you.
- Munch with Papa..enjoying the beaches
Tomorrow is a big day.For two reasons.
Munch’s final term results are going to be out tomorrow.That makes me sweat.I have more butterflies in my stomach.It never felt like this before.And I had no knowledge of these creatures each time my parents went to collect my annual report! And the same is with Munch.She is so confident(busy watching her favourite cartoon as I write).But since this was the first time she sat for proper exams,with a 50 mark paper in each subject,that makes me a wee bit worried.She is only 7 and a half.And some of the papers had 11 or 12 questions besides objectives.She has always done well since she started formal school.And I hope she proves it tomorrow as well.Pray for Munch(and me).
The second reason is after a gap of 4 years,I have started looking out for a job. Being married to an Army personnel who is off on field duty for 3 years,I had been the sole caretaker of my kids.And the only job you could think of when having to move every 3 years is that of a teacher.I had taught for 2 years after Munch started school. But when Perk came,I took another break.Now, with Perk settled in her school,I am thinking of venturing out again.So ,I have an interview lined up tomorrow.More jitters.Will I be good enough after all these years?How will I manage home and school?(ie if i get the job)I am doing this more as a confidence booster than anything else.And the moment I feel ,I am unable to manage,I would have no hesitations in quitting.That is the sort of frame of mind with which I am going to approach the interview.How pessimistic!
I am keeping my fingers crossed.And something inside tells me if Munch come out tops,I will get through too.Because that will show me that if I have been doing something right with Munch,I might still have it in me!Till then..